We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

If One Of These Bottles Should Happen To Fall

by Tris McCall

supported by
porchistas2
porchistas2 thumbnail
words_and_music
words_and_music thumbnail
Greg Broom
Greg Broom thumbnail
greatquail
greatquail thumbnail
cway
cway thumbnail
/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
The New Jersey Department Of Public Works 01:53
lyrics
buy track
Working together, insuring our future, embracing every day. We're planting trees and laying electric wire from Secaucus to Cape May. We'll all pull together to bring us our future. In everything that we do, the New Jersey Department Of Public Works is bringing New Jersey to you. From the mighty rolling Delaware to the Hudson's graceful glide. We're planning the cities and raising the bridges that build New Jersey pride. Irrigation and mass transportation for each and every man. The New Jersey Department Of Public Works -- lending New Jersey a hand. Who built the Trenton station or Newark's mighty port? For public works will long endure although our lives are short. A kind of immortality our cooperation bestows on the New Jersey people who build it together -- we'll let the whole nation know. The New Jersey Department Of Public Works: helping New Jersey grow.
2.
Janie Abstract 02:37
lyrics
buy track
The grapefruit league is over Janie closes the cache Blind ride through West New York on liar's holiday. A liar's lips are parting as these lying hands explain Trace my name with your finger on the clouded windowpane Do you paint me in a corner? Still I trace your sweet smile through the screen Janie knows what distance means The network is the nausea Plan a metropark like DC's The road to hell is paved with cuties working on their theses They're remodeling the Echo Queen into an e-café The future's passed on 46 since Janie's been away Do you paint me in a corner Still I touch your shoulders through the screen Janie knows what Abstract means Do you paint me in a corner? Press your body closer: We clasp hands across the digital chasm You and me Janie's an illusion Don't you see Leafing through the baseball abstract With a grin like Peter Tork The wrecking ball will claim us all And not just downtown Newark Are you tiring of books and banks and what it all defines? A liar's faith can melt these walls A liar's on your side Do you paint me in a corner? Still I touch your shoulders through the screen Janie knows what distance means Do you paint me in a corner? Still I sense your sweet smile through the wire Janie learns to feel the liar
3.
Mad About Us 02:26
lyrics
buy track
Well it's so good to be here at Bowery and Bleek You all look so fine I can barely speak This part of town must be tres chic For cats like you to throw away your week-end Mad about us/forget about us Well the rain pours down on everyone Pour out the puzzle pieces on Sam Nunn Thy name is mud Thy will be done Because thou hast the freaking naked raygun Mad about us/forget about us Mad About You, that's my favorite show With Helen Hunt, oh ho ho That Paul Reiser, he's a dynamo At my TV set a brick I will throw I may be generally bored but I think I got the right When it's the same damn bullshit I see night after night There's a divine spark in each of us suffocated by words So predictable it hurts It's so predictable it hurts! So when you see me after the show Pour me out a drink Come by my table and tell my what you think Critique my glasses Critique my mink I care about your opinion Nudge, nudge, wink, wink Mad about us/forget about us Mad about forget about what William Gaddis said about us!
4.
A Girl With A Gun 03:27
lyrics
buy track
I like a girl with a gun Liable to do anyone She wants me dead or my hands above my head A girl with a gun and a telephone voice She can hold me up Ah Boom Boom There might be no motive for this But it's foolish to count on a miss No chance to ask for the face behind the mask I'll do whatever you want Just don't hurt the kids Because they're innocent Ah Boom Boom She's so sure in her stride with the gun at her side And lipstick darker than the kiss-end of her forty-five Look how quick she react coming out of the flat With a flurry of buckshot for the coppers who can't hang with that Can I tag along just to show what I got? I won't even mind if I get set up Girl, give me a shot Ready Aim Fire
5.
Dear Governor Kean 01:58
lyrics
buy track
Dear Governor Kean A book of knowledge An amber flame It's been a long time But on the chief's watch A silent vigil And he looks like Emily's pose No words, no flesh, his flag's done wove Small boys love, big men hate Please legislate On Madison Ave. They seek to hold mirrors to life To ready the old infantryman Servile! The vet's returned with ancient grace A scar, a note to accept his fate Small boy's love, big men hate Please legislate
6.
Had Too Much Sugar 02:24
lyrics
buy track
Hey get off my turf! I'm a fuckin' waryer Me and Papa Smurf And my daddy's Lawryer Cutting class all week Scolded by the teacher Tried to slap her cheek But I couldn't reach her She is much too tall And I've not had my growth spurt Running through the mall With TCBYogurt I'm a psychopath All jacked up on pectin I won't do my math I only like dissectin' Since I was a tyke I've been smoking weed out Rolling on my bike The fun is getting out of hand Wouldn't you say? This magic marker makes no brand Wouldn't you say I'm gonna get a reprimand Wouldn't you say? Had too much sugar with my meal and now my jaw is vacuum sealed Poured too much sugar on my tongue and now I'm screaming out a lung Scooped too much sugar on my steak The fun is getting out of hand Wouldn't you say? This magic marker leaves no brand Wouldn't you say? I'm going to get a reprimand Wouldn't you say? Poured too much sugar on my fries and now I yen to vandalize Sucked too much sugar off these pills and now I'm feeling somewhat ill Heaped too much sugar on my toast Now you got me pissed Struggle with the dentist I won't put up with in loco parentis Rolling on the bus Picking on the retards Nothing wrong with us we can't fix in the schoolyard Yes I'm a little punk Stealing from the Quick Chek Pockets full of junk Racing out at breakneck speed back to the den With my box of Ring Dings Nothing's on again?!? Nothing's on again?!? Nothing's on again?!? Can't sit still!
7.
The View From New Jersey 05:39
lyrics
buy track
Did you lose everything on your hard drive? Did you come out to Hoboken sucking wind? There's lots of kids commuting out to Wall Street here They're all waiting for their real lives to begin And you, you thought that they'd all find you special Well, you're special, but nobody really cares 'Cause they'll confer degrees on anybody with the cash to blow You decide yourself if that's unfair Oh, you were pretty once That ain't too hard to guess Won't you unlatch that suit just in case there's something left? That's the view from New Jersey Practicing your pick-up lines on your own damn self Another cheesy Washington Street bar Too sedate to smash the state and too tremulous That's where you be when you don't know who you are But ask any partygoer, any nighttripper Ask the kids lined up at Twilo or at Nell's What's the good in ever looking fabulous When the crowds are outside toasting David Wells? If that make-a no sense to you You can flip it in another tongue One you knew when you were young Though you lost your cutie pie-ness That's the view from New Jersey Surprised to find that you're glad you stayed C'mon, let's take a walk on the palisade Sure, there'll be times when you get your views dismissed But only by those who don't know that such views exist And getting rid of dead wood feels so good And we call this the Casting-Off Place Awake with the smell of rubber and burning paint Better than feeling lost when you're feeling faint That's the view That's the view That's just the view Only the view Not the hippest, I'm aware But it's damned good that it's there New Jersey Trapped in the corner in your bumper car It doesn't even help to turn the wheel Everybody's gonna get their hits in now Bear up in it and be thankful you still feel
8.
I Am The Law (In The Ointment) 00:59
lyrics
buy track
Who counts the cops on Grove Street?
9.
Lite Radio Is My Kryptonite 03:35
lyrics
buy track
Why work? Why not fill your days with joy? Spend more time with the ones you love And then scramble your ass off for rent and 'lectricity Temp when you have to Relax when you don't And try to ignore that nagging chest pain Fib your way through your tax returns and spend the rest of your life in jail Thy got you where they want you And it's all downhill from here Why work at all? Why waste money on suits and ties? When you can have comfy shoes and three-day-old scruff And get typecast as a lazy slacker See if you can convince them that you're qualified For mental disability checks and unemployment Chill in the atrium of the Galaxy Towers And get welcomed to the world of private security They got you where they want you And it's all downhill from here So now If you're wondering where I've been Choked by steam of my ship come in And the ferry from Hoboken Just know that this tangle of tickertape is the price for our Empire State Unless, of course, you're just a reprobate Like me and my mates! Oh They got you where they want you And it's all downhill from here Life is short Too short to waste in a cubicle Drop out of the rat race and feels superior As you search for a buyer for your magnum opus Burn your I.D. and declare yourself free You'll feel real American until you get carded Go off the grid like the militiamen did and get roasted alive by the Federal Government
10.
Missing You 02:41
lyrics
buy track
Some couples deem it normal to keep things rather formal And deny the seducer's art And implying nothing stealthy They say it's only healthy to spend a few days apart But if you showed me information on great separate vacations Well, I think that would break my heart Because without you at all I watch the clock on the wall And I wait for the hands to start I'll be missing you, my dear From the moment that we kiss goodbye And though I try to stay high and justify my desires My world isn't bright enough unless I'm looking out through your eyes I'll be missing you, my dear From the moment that you leave my side And it's two wanting you And I'm keeping it true I think nothing else would do Hoping you do too And I wonder who you're kissing while I'm missing you
11.
I Can't Get Up Out Of My Chair 02:21
lyrics
buy track
I do try to be small and demure And it's aesthetics that I'm doing it for I'm so light and polite and I'd never harm a hare In fact I can't get up out of my chair There's a world of great causes to support In fact there's so many that I feel a little short Catch the word on the street (forty stories in the air) And I can't get up out of my chair Justification! My vacation days are gone I feel I can't go on Justification! Stimulation to the brain What really did I gain? Just a hundred thousand dollars down the drain I've got no real complaints with this town But its immensity can sure get you down So many happening streets and there's music everywhere And I can't get up out of my chair Checking out my new exercise kit With a big fat bowl of Alpha-Bits Got the videotape on and my manly chest is bare But I can't get up out of my chair Justification! My vacation days are gone I feel I can't go on Justification What my nation does for me Protects my liberty So I can pick up trashy channels on TV Well, I wish I had more to confess But the monsignor wouldn't take down my e-mail address So trust me I'm deep Now let me get some sleep 'Cause I can't get up out I can't get up out I can't get up out of my chair
12.
LOL 02:57
lyrics
buy track
You really blew it, kid, you know you could have had me. I would have broken any vow to take your name. I walk in circles down the walls of your apartment. Who sunk the battleship? I'll take the blame. Were you surprised to see my face there at the party? I'm in the bedroom and you're talking to the fan. But now it's winter and I'm staring in my coffee. Snuff the flame and begin again. Hide something inside. You were hoping I was broken long before your arms could open wide. Deny feeling inside. You're all alone, you've got your house, you're by the fire and reading something dry. Desire -- laughing out loud is always impolite so now I'm crying out of spite. But when the spies come out to pry, I wish you'd tell them that we tried.
13.
He's A Sagittarius 02:18
lyrics
buy track
He's a Sagittarius moon and so precarious He loves to lead the ladies on but they all don't know where he is His style is quite spectacular He use the black vernacular He never kiss a girl upon the cheek 'till he's attracted to her Yes he's a real Lothario Floats like Super Mario Works on 42nd Street but lives out in the barrio Loves to eat a petit four Leaves the birds to Baltimore Parties at the grocery store We know foam follows function So we learn to move with the utmost unction The fault is not in our guitars but in ourselves He's smooth as turpentine He only likes the Firesign He's a Sagittarius Familiar with the various strategies for chatter but he only digs the scariest A hundred years of solipsists Got him chomping at the bit He's the soul of brevity, if not exactly wit We know foam follows function So we learn to move with the utmost unction The fault is not in our guitars but in ourselves He's sweet as turpentine So come, vamos a Bergenline So before you go get plastered Won't you spend some time with this conceited bastard? Who sits around writing love songs to himself He's smooth as Percodan He always says "I think I can" His Saturn is in Taurus Which explains why he might bore us with his Libran didacticity But check the electricity when jovial and saturnine combine in trines To line up the Martial arts of the mind!
14.
Fire, Fire 02:47
lyrics
buy track
Lo, here I Burn, I burn in such Defire That all the Tearf that I can Straine Out of mine Idle, Empty Braine Cannot allaye this grinding Paine! Come Trent, and Humber, and faire Thames Come ocean waves with all thy Ftreams! And if ye cannot quench my Fire -- O drown both me and my Desire Fire, fire, fire, fire! Fire, fire, fire, fire! There is no hell, no hell to my Defire For all ye Rivers backward Flye And the ocean doth its Waves deny For fear my Heate fhall drink them Drye! Come heavenly Fhowers pouring downe Come ye that Once this World did drowne And if ye cannot quench my Fire -- O drown both me and my Desire
15.
The Popularity Contest 04:00
lyrics
buy track
Well I can't wait Can't wait to see How the global markets did today Got my S&P 500 Not a cloud in the sky All alone out on Times Square Watching the tape go by And as those numbers keep on mounting to the stories above It's not enough Me and the boys from Jersey We're gonna have a little fun Got into Atlantic City around a quarter to one I've been counting from a five-deck shoe Damn, ain't that the shit! Check the fine young ladies in the baccarat pit Hey quit tugging on the jacket No need to play rough It's not enough Bankroll Ayatollah drinking with the Son of Shem In exile in New Babylon from New Jerusalem Got a girl in the backseat Got a girl on the Neve Got a girl out in Montville with trouble up her sleeve Got a girl at Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom Got a girl on my spoon Got a girl that don't like me much But i'm-a handle that soon And when they're blowing up my pager, asking "who do you love"? It's not enough Is that the north wind blowing, or are you just kissing me? Damn, I feel like I've been cheating on the girl you used to be Well, you're looking mighty freaky in that black silk dress But where you got that stethoscope is anybody's guess If you can't handle the stress, here's your chance to unwind Stick your hand inside that grab bag, baby See what you can find Hey, wait a minute! I don't mean to offend And since I can't play stupid I gotta play pretend Take off that guayabera, man, I'm calling your bluff It's not enough It's not enough Never, never enough
16.
It's Not The Money, It's The Principle 00:55
lyrics
buy track
And to my man Tom Kean You don't stop And to my man Frank Hague You don't stop And to my Mayor Mayor Russo You don't stop And to my man Bernie Kenny You don't stop And to my J.J. Florio You don't stop And to my Bob Janiczewski You don't stop And to my Frank Marciano You don't stop Sharpe James Nick Sacco You don't stop And to my Albio Sires You don't stop And to my Rudy Garcia You don't stop And to my Congressman Menendez You don't stop Richard Turner Bret Schundler You don't stop Everybody in the state You don't stop You keep it on for Hudson County You don't stop And last, not least, on the sure shot It's the _______
17.
Hung By A Jury Of My Peers 03:41
buy track

about

*If One Of These Bottles Should Happen To Fall* was produced and mixed by Scott Miller of Game Theory and the Loud Family. Some of the basics were tracked in New York, but most of the recording was done in his San Bruno, California living room. He was extremely generous with his time, his insight, and his guidance -- more generous than I deserved. It's been three years since he died. I still can't believe he's gone.

The album's subtitle is *Jersey Songs By Tris McCall*, and the original CD version came with a roll call of Jersey artists I respect and a two-page glossary of all the Garden State references I make in the lyrics. While the tone of the album is lighthearted, a few of the heavier themes that would later obsess me are apparent here: geography as destiny, gentrification, the pathos of the politician, capitalist activity as a glorified gambling addiction, distaste for drugs and alcohol, long looks askance at the big city across the Hudson.

I think it was Donald Fagen who once said that every artist only has one idea. The trick is to obscure that predicament by repackaging that idea in as many ways as possible. This album is probably the sweetest, most palatable version of the Tris McCall pill it's possible for you to swallow. For that, I think I've got Scott Miller to thank -- and the guitarist David Schreiber, who was my principal collaborator during these sessions, and who accompanied me on my trips to the Bay Area to make this record. (Couldn't get him to go to a Giants game, though.)

If you're new, try first: "A Girl With A Gun", "Hung By A Jury Of My Peers", "I Can't Get Up Out Of My Chair"

credits

released December 9, 2015

Some of the musicians who helped make this album:

Drums: Jens Carstensen
Bass guitar: Martin Nienstedt and David Schreiber
Guitar: David Schreiber
Piano: Dan Madinabeitia
Singing: Rachel Fishman and Regan Solmo
Synthesizer, lead vox: Tris McCall

license

tags

about

Tris McCall image

Tris McCall Jersey City, New Jersey

contact / help

Contact Tris McCall

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Tris McCall, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Saxophonist Isaiah Collier chats about his new LP and the influence of Pharoah Sanders.
listen now